20 Poorest Ways To Start Your Essay (Please Never Use Them!)

Having to write many essays and compositions at a time, we can fall into a trap of exploiting clichés and other never-use-them-in-a-sentence phrases that absolutely destroy the positive impact your narrative aims to convey. That’s why it’s highly advised to mind what you write when having a professional read and evaluate your paper.  The worst phrases are:

Ways To Start Your Essay

  • According to {enter a Dictionary name here}…
  • If I had to describe myself in 5 words…
  • While most people don’t have their favorite classic authors, let me assure you – I do!
  • What makes me different from other applicants? They’re not as hard-working, committed and attractive as me.
  • You have to enroll me in your college because otherwise my lawyer (my dad) will sue you.
  • Please accept me in your college, I’m begging you! I’m going to ace all those subjects, just give me a chance!
  • This essay was meant to dwell upon {enter supposed essay topic here}, but instead I decided to write about {enter your own topic here} because the first topic was too difficult…
  • I think the biggest problem of the modern education is that students are tasked with gazillions of stupid essays.
  • How to overcome writer’s block? Try, like, really, REALLY harder, man!
  • My autobiography…
  • Busy as I am, there’s no time to read books. So, when possible I watch a movie based on a book, it gives me the entire gist needed for a top-notch essay.
  • When I grow up, I want to become a beer-taster.
  • Such awesome teacher as you will surely appreciate such awesome essay as this…
  • I wasn’t in the right mood to write another essay on this subject, so here’s a photo of a really, REALLY huge potato {insert a pic of an enormously oversized potato here}
  • Since British scientists say the world ends on 4th of May, 2017, there’s no need in writing all of these essays and all.
  • What is my greatest fear? I’m fearless, so there’s no point in doing this assignment at all.
  • My favorite book? I haven’t really written it yet, but it would be magnificent!
  • What historical person I would like to interview? Uncle Sam! Always wondered who the hell this guy is!?
  • Instead of this admission piece please accept a video of me operating on living mouse’s brain!
  • Game of Thrones is a historical novel taking place on the territory of ancient Great Britain…

P.S. Some of these might sound ridiculous and funny, but they’ve all been taken from real students’ works! Funny, indeed.